Rediscovering Tina

There is life outside the pulpit

Blessings Galore April 9, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Personal Reflections,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 10:16 pm
Tags: , , ,

I’ve still been in a bit of a funk over Marie’s unexpected death, so I haven’t felt like I could start writing because I would start crying. Then the keyboard would get wet and I would be electrocuted. Tears and electricity are not a good combination!

Now I know there are those of you reading this and now you are talking to the screen as if I could hear you: “Tina! It’s okay to cry! Get it out! Have at it! Quit trying to hold it all in!” (See? I can hear you!)

It’s not that I can’t cry (I can) or that I won’t cry (I have). After a while you just get tired of crying. With all the losses I’ve experienced in the past five years if I cried every time I felt like it I would never do anything else but cry!

Instead, I choose to take God at his word that he can and will turn my mourning into dancing and that he can and will remove the sackcloth of grief and clothe me with joy.

One of the ways this happens is not to sit in my corner and focus on what I’ve lost, but to stand on my balcony and shout for all to hear that I am blessed beyond comprehension and Jesus loves even me!

Here are some more blessings in no particular order:

  • I have a beautiful home that I never imagined I would ever have.
  • I  got to tell a non-believer about the blessings of God today.

  • I get to decorate cakes… and people really like them.
  • I get to lead a bible study with the ladies in my department.
  • I was blessed by those same ladies with a wonderful gift of their words and love.
  • I am married to a man who makes me laugh until my sides hurt and he loves me even when I am completely unlovable.
  • I have four beautiful  nieces and nephews. I love you Adam, Angel, Lynzi and Elijah!
  • My sister, LeeAnne, is one of the most beautiful women I know… both inside and out.
  • My Dad keeps me laughing at his antics. I am so glad he is doing well.
  • ES- you are a tremendous blessing in my life. How did I ever get so lucky as to have you in my life?
  • I got to see Marie the week before she died. I thought I was going to see Tammy and Melissa, but God had other ideas.

    Your turn. What are you thankful for this day?

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World February 17, 2011

Filed under: Family Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 8:32 pm
Tags: , , , , ,


Today would have been my Mom’s 65th birthday.

Janet Louise Kroft (I have her middle name) was the most beautiful woman in the world. I know every little girl believes that her mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, but in all my 45 years, I still believe this about my Mom.

She grew up in an emotionally abusive home and married a man who promised her a way out. I often asked her if she regretted marrying Bio-Dad since they divorced after five years. She would get teary-eyed and remind me that if she hadn’t married him she wouldn’t have my sister Marie and me, and that was worth everything.

When I was nine she married my Dad. During the worst of his drinking, I watched as she prayed and cried to God to save him. I saw a woman committed to her husband, in easy times and hard times, and a woman who helped lead her husband to God because of her faithfulness not only to God but to my Dad as well. She taught me what it meant to vow “for better or worse”, and she was the example I followed when I had to make a similar decision about my own marriage.

Mom had a sharp wit and a tongue that matched it. If you were on the receiving end of her wit, it meant that she loved you greatly. She used to tell people, “If I ignore you, I don’t like you!” She also had a laugh that sent joy through my heart.

The abuse my Mom experienced growing up could have colored the way she treated her own children. While it left scars that I will never fully understand, she chose to raise her children differently. She was most definitely the authority and expected her children to be respectful and well-behaved. She encouraged us in everything we wanted to try. She cheered the loudest and laughed the loudest and cried the happiest tears for our accomplishments. I was never afraid of her… but absolutely terrified of disappointing her.

The last few years of her life, Mom was struggling with kidney failure, diabetes and congestive heart failure. She was losing her eyesight and had horrible arthritis in her feet. Through all of it, she never complained or felt sorry for herself. She had a quiet strength that hid what was going on with and in her body. She spent time caring for others with her work with Gilead Ministries as their administrative assistant and volunteering with her church.

In 2000, Mom had a quadruple bypass. Before she went into surgery I completely fell apart and felt I was losing her. She held me close and whispered in my ear, “Baby, the promise in the Bible is real. If I live, that’s wonderful, because I get to spend more time with all of you. And if I die, I get to be with Jesus. You see? I can’t lose!”

Two years ago next week, the most beautiful woman in the world became the most beautiful woman in heaven. I personally think Jesus gets the better end of the deal.

Until the day I get to see both of them face-to-face.

Jesus on one side. Mom on the other. I can’t lose!


Bucket List January 15, 2011

When I said I was going to Post-a-Day in 2011, I temporarily forgot how hard it is to write for 15 minutes with an empty mind! After searching around the Internet for some writing prompts, I decided to go with writing a bucket list.

I realized the other day that I am turning 45 this year. Both my grandmother and my Mom died when they were in their sixties, so I recognize that I could have only twenty years or so left on this earth! I reckon I’d better get busy!

1. Meet Colin Firth– of course if I do this too early, my little heart may just palpitate right out of my chest and it would no longer be viable for transplanting.

2. Visit England– this has always been a desire of mine. In fact, before I met Steve, I used to tell people my husband was in England and he was walking over. Of course, meeting Colin Firth while in England would be fabulous!

3. Attend an Indianapolis Colts game at Lucas Oil Stadium before Peyton Manning retires– I was blessed to see Brett Favre play at Lambeau before he went stoopid and went Viking.

4. Become debt free– please, Lord.

5. Get back  down to my wedding day weight

6. Record an album with me singing

7. Playing the drums in a band

8. Watch and own every movie Colin Firth has done.

9. Decorating cakes bigger and better.

10. Become a traveling evangelist- every time I go to the movies I imagine standing on a stage talking to crowds of people about Jesus.

11. Visit every state in an RV with the hubby, Rick, Linda, Beth and LeeAnne.

12. Take an Alaskan cruise and see the whales

13. Work as a DJ

14. Start a women’s bible study

15. Go on a silent retreat

16. Have one of my songs recorded/produced/noticed by Bill Gaither

17. Learn to play guitar better

18. Take a song writing class

19. Write a book to encourage others that there is life beyond sex addiction and pornography.

20. Trace my family tree– which I can do once I am debt free and can afford all the websites that have all the info!

There’s twenty of mine… now tell me about your bucket!



%d bloggers like this: