Rediscovering Tina

There is life outside the pulpit

You Quack Me Up July 15, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 1:47 am
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Today was a beautiful day of sitting at a picnic table at the water’s edge of Lake Mendota watching the ducks and the waves and the seaweed skimmers skim seaweed/green algae. *I once had a baptism service in this same lake. We had to make a path through the green algae so that when the ladies came up out of the water they didn’t come up with things dangling from their hair!*

This is one of my favorite spots to talk with and hear from God. There’s something about the water that calms my mind and heart and leaves me open to hearing what God has to say.

I started watching the waves on the lake, noticing the difference between the waves caused by the wind and those caused by the boats as they sped by. I thought about how those waves are like my life. The smaller waves reminded me of the everyday things that happen… an unexpected bill; a misunderstanding with someone I love; frustration with a co-worker; gaining three pounds; etc. Those larger waves reminded me of those things that tend to knock me around. The loss of a job. Being betrayed by someone I love. Losing my Mother-in-law, Bio-dad, Mom, step-Brother, and my Sister in the span of five years.

This verse came to mind: “But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.”~ James 1:6 (NLT)

I tend to have faith like Peter. I talk a good sermon and say that I will fight to the death for my Jesus. I jump out of the boat and start walking in places I’ve never been and couldn’t be if it wasn’t for God. Then I get distracted by the waves, freak out, start flailing and soon I’m going under. (Did I mention  I’m deathly afraid of deep water?)

Suddenly a boat went by and I remarked to God that I wish I was steadier on the water like that boat. Just pushing through those waves that were made before it and making waves for others who follow! The waves were no match for that boat!

And God spoke back. “My child, I love you. You already are like that boat. Speeding through the waves that come your way, and you just end up making more waves. Look at that duck in front of you. No matter the size of the wave, do you see him flailing and freaking out?  He is content to ride the wave and trust. He still gets to his destination, but without wasting all the energy. Tina, I want you to be the duck.”

 “Then Peter called to him, ‘Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.'”~ Matthew 14:28 (NLT)

May we all be ducks in the midst of the waves!



Brain Fart April 29, 2011

Filed under: Personal Reflections,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 8:49 pm
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I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes staring blankly at a blank screen. I want to write, don’t know what to write, or how to start writing. But I want something here.

Maybe if I start typing my thoughts I’l hit on something interesting:

We have over 300 channels and Steve seems to only watch the History channel and FOX.

I wish the sun would shine when I’m not working.

The new recliner looks fabulous! Now to get the old one out of the middle of the living room.

It’s freezing in here! Steve must have been born a polar bear!

I need to figure out the logistics of Bevly’s wedding cake.

I think it’s so cool that Gene camped out with Lynzi last night so they could get up early to watch the royal wedding. What a great “Daddy memory” she will have!

LeeAnne and Gene are incredible parents.

I think that picture frame is crooked.

Really? He’s watching a show about fish waste?

I give up. It’s not working.

I guess I’ll play Bejeweled.


Pharisee Pastor April 26, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 8:29 am
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Today, I love being Pastor Tina.

Most days I prefer to be just Tina.

Today, I got to talk to a young couple about their wedding. They asked me to officiate because “you aren’t judgmental about the fact that we’ve been living together and you love gay people”. (The couple isn’t gay, but many of their friends are).

I found it ironic that they see this in me, because for so many years Pharisee Tina carried around a harsh set of standards everyone should meet… and beware the tongue lashing/guilt trip/cold shoulder for those who didn’t meet my religious standards!

*To all those reading this who were on the receiving end of Pharisee Tina, all I can say is please forgive me my stupidity.*

So, for this couple to say they see this kind of acceptance and love, dare I say, Jesus, in me, makes my heart extremely happy.

Maybe Pharisee Tina really is being replaced.

May it be so, Lord!


Blessings Galore April 9, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Personal Reflections,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 10:16 pm
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I’ve still been in a bit of a funk over Marie’s unexpected death, so I haven’t felt like I could start writing because I would start crying. Then the keyboard would get wet and I would be electrocuted. Tears and electricity are not a good combination!

Now I know there are those of you reading this and now you are talking to the screen as if I could hear you: “Tina! It’s okay to cry! Get it out! Have at it! Quit trying to hold it all in!” (See? I can hear you!)

It’s not that I can’t cry (I can) or that I won’t cry (I have). After a while you just get tired of crying. With all the losses I’ve experienced in the past five years if I cried every time I felt like it I would never do anything else but cry!

Instead, I choose to take God at his word that he can and will turn my mourning into dancing and that he can and will remove the sackcloth of grief and clothe me with joy.

One of the ways this happens is not to sit in my corner and focus on what I’ve lost, but to stand on my balcony and shout for all to hear that I am blessed beyond comprehension and Jesus loves even me!

Here are some more blessings in no particular order:

  • I have a beautiful home that I never imagined I would ever have.
  • I  got to tell a non-believer about the blessings of God today.

  • I get to decorate cakes… and people really like them.
  • I get to lead a bible study with the ladies in my department.
  • I was blessed by those same ladies with a wonderful gift of their words and love.
  • I am married to a man who makes me laugh until my sides hurt and he loves me even when I am completely unlovable.
  • I have four beautiful  nieces and nephews. I love you Adam, Angel, Lynzi and Elijah!
  • My sister, LeeAnne, is one of the most beautiful women I know… both inside and out.
  • My Dad keeps me laughing at his antics. I am so glad he is doing well.
  • ES- you are a tremendous blessing in my life. How did I ever get so lucky as to have you in my life?
  • I got to see Marie the week before she died. I thought I was going to see Tammy and Melissa, but God had other ideas.

    Your turn. What are you thankful for this day?

Five Annoying TV Characters April 4, 2011

Why yes. I am procrastinating. I should be working on my bible study for Thursday morning, but I am watching the NCAA finals (Go Butler!) and reading random blogs while doing the laundry.

And procrastinating.

One of the blogs I read tonight is Lunkia and Sika . They list the ten most annoying characters on television, but since I had to disagree with a few of their choices, I decided to make my own list while I sit here procrastinating. At leat I can say I accomplished something tonight!

My top five in no particular order:

Rachel Berry (Lea Michelle) from Glee- Sure Rachel can sing, but must she scream every single note? It’s like listening to Adam Lambert in saddle shoes. Give Santana more solos!

Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) from How I Met Your Mother- is there any character more icky than Barney (you can’t mention Charlie Sheen/Charlie Harper… that’s a given!)? And why do his friends just sit by and watch those idiot women parade in and out of his pants?

Lt. Horatio Caine (David Caruso) from CSI: Miami- I’ve known a few policemen in my time and NONE of them ever remove their shades to make a pointless point. Really. Slow.

Russell Dunbar (David Spade) from Rules of Engagement- I can’t decide if I hate Russell because Russell is disgusting or because David Spade is disgusting. Either way…

 Your turn! Who did I miss?


Kickin’ Butt March 8, 2011

Filed under: Family Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 9:44 pm
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Marie and I have had a love/hate relationship for the past 43 years. She was born when I was two years old, and from the moment she could grab a handful of my hair, we’ve been at each other’s throats.

Most people find it strange that two sisters would actually try to knock the other into another stratosphere. Fairytale images of sisters abound of  slumber parties and doing each others’ hair and telling each other secrets.  Little curls in dresses and curls playing with their baby dolls and pretending to beautiful princesses.

*Those of you who know me are rolling on the floor in hysterics at the thought of me with a baby doll right now, aren’t you?*

Not so for Marie and me. We pulled each other’s hair, threw mud pies (with a few strategic pebbles packed in) and ran over each other with our bikes. It took nothing more than Marie breathing my air for us to end up rolling around on the ground pounding the crap out of each other.

One particularly fun day, we were sitting on her bed and before I knew it, I was on the floor with her straddling me and rubbing my face raw with a wad of notebook paper! Talk about paper cuts! ‘

Tis okay. I got her back one day when we were staging a fight while waiting on the school bus and she zigged when she should have zagged and I socked her right in the eye.

I had a scratched face. She had a black eye. All’s fair in love and sisters.

The flip side of this complicated relationship is while Marie is still the only human I ever have fleeting thoughts of sending to the moon with a great right hook (with the exception of an urgent care doctor or two), she is also one of the first people I would lay my life down for.

Numerous times I took the punishment for something we both know she did. Today it’s called enabling… at the time I called it protecting her. When others threatened to kick her butt I was the first in line to kick theirs.

Right now, kidney failure is threatening my little sister and I’m at a loss as to how to protect her from this one. She’s made ginormous strides in becoming healthier to be considered for a transplant, but after losing 100+ pounds, the transplant folks tell her she has to lose more. They mentioned gastric bypass which she’s already been told she can’t have because she has so little kidney function.

So she feels like she is back at square one even though she has mastered 500. She feels defeated when she has so much to rejoice over. She feels she still hasn’t done enough when she is doing all that is humanly possible.

I feel like I want to kick kidney failure’s butt and hug my sister.


I Paid You for That? Part Deaux March 7, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 4:39 pm
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Remember my bit of whining from a week or so ago about how I hate urgent care doctors? Hate may not even start to cover the range of emotions I experience with these “experts”. I have come to realize this is why my friend, Doyle always reminds me that they call them a doctor’s PRACTICE for a reason!

As you recall (if you don’t, you can read it here ), I went to urgent care at the urgent urging of my husband, father, co-workers and the neighbors who could hear me coughing up a lung every night, only to be told what I already knew. “Just wait it out”.

So, I waited it out and ended up at a different urgent care on Saturday because not only did I cough up a lung, but the rest of my organs were burning from the inside out due to the 101.8 temp I couldn’t shake. Coughing, wheezing, fever, aches, burning lungs and chest from the non-stop coughing. Yippee!

As Steve and I sat in the little room waiting for my chest x-ray results, I thought: “If they tell me to wait any longer I could be dead.” (I wonder if this was the plan all along?)

Enter urgent care practicer with this astute observation: “The x-rays are clear so far, but because you are obviously getting worse, there must be something more to it.”


Practicer told me that I could be on the cusp of pneumonia (Yes. Steve had his hand ready to put over my mouth so I could still say with a straight face that I was once a preacher!) so he gave me lots of antibiotics and codeine cough syrup which has put me to sleep for four days straight.  And guess what?

I am starting to feel better!

See there? All it took was waiting three weeks.


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