Rediscovering Tina

There is life outside the pulpit

Goodbye Marie March 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Rediscovering Tina @ 9:52 pm

I really wish God wouldn’t trust me with so much, ya know?

  • In 2008, my Bio-dad died from complications from diabetes and heart disease.  (He was 71)
  • In 2009, my beautiful Mom died of a massive heart attacks after years of fighting congestive heart failure, diabetes and renal failure.  (She was 63)
  • In 2010, my step-brother, Randy, died after years of fighting congestive heart failure. (He was 43)

And now, I’ve lost my sister, Marie, (age 42) to renal failure, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

Marie just stopped breathing early Saturday morning.  One moment she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, talking to her partner. The next she is gone. In the blink of an eye your life can completely change and look different than it has the last 42 years of your life.

I wrote recently about the extreme love-extreme hate relationship Marie and I have had our entire lives.  How I wanted to deck her and hug her all within the space of a nano-second.

I posted on Facebook on Friday evening how extremely thankful I was feeling that night. Saturday morning I was reminded of how thankful I was that I had been in Indiana the week before and had made the extra trip to visit with Marie and tell her just how much I love her and how very proud I was of her for all the positive changes she was making in her life.

I’m so glad I hugged her and didn’t deck her.

As I sat at her bedside Saturday night and Sunday morning, all I could think about was my little sister, healthy and whole when we were little. Of the extreme aggravation she gave everyone. Of the trouble I got into with her. Of watching her twirl a rifle for all it was worth. Of the great joy I felt when I got to hold her babies, Adam and Angel, when they were born.

Life happens fast. Tell someone you love them today. Don’t wait for tomorrow. There may not be a tomorrow.

And Lord, can you give my heart a break from breaking for a while?

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9 Responses to “Goodbye Marie”

  1. LaShawn Says:

    Deep strong hugs and lots of love being sent to you right now, Tina. Grieving and loving with you.

  2. Lance Ponder Says:

    **HUGS**

    You have been through a lot, and a lot more than what you’ve posted here. I was going to crack a joke about falling on the ice to cheer you up, but that really wouldn’t be very funny right now. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you all will be well. May God hold you close and love on you. A time will come when the tears will be wiped away for good. Until, know that you are loved.

  3. It is definitely overwhelming to think about how quickly life can change….or be taken away altogether. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to be reminded of this so many times over a short period of time.

    Please take care of you and know that you are loved.

    • Thank you, Cheryl. I hate that she’s gone, but so glad there are no more needles or surgery or pain that she has to endure any longer. She has truly been through a war with all that was going on with her.

      Thank you for reminding me to take care of me. That’s why I am breathing now. It’s the only thing I am required to do for the next few hours.

  4. Oh Tina, I am so so sorry to hear this. So much grief – you’ve had so many losses these past few years – and to lose your precious sister, and at such a young age – my heart goes out to you.

    And 42 – that’s the age my own sister was when she died. All I can say is – it’s true about time, one does feel the pain less acutely after a while. I know this probably doesn’t help much right now.


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