Rediscovering Tina

There is life outside the pulpit

Why Do Today What You Can Put Off ‘Til Tomorrow? January 20, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 9:46 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Let me start by saying that I have the gift of procrastination. Seriously. I hit the snooze button on the alarm at least three times every morning (even more if Steve hasn’t caught on!). I arrive everywhere in just the nick of time. I study for tests the night before. I prepare sermons on Friday night. I go to the dentist after the tooth has rotted out of my head. *For the sake of clarification, the tooth just hurts at the moment.*

The point is… (see? I even procrastinate on making my point!) I. put. off . everything.

Ugh.

The put-off biggies in my world right now are quiet times and exercise. I’ve already figured out that I COULD do both at the same time (read and pray while walking on the treadmill), but I haven’t done one, let alone both.

Part of my reason for resigning from the pastorate and not seeking another church was so I could spend some time on my face before God and in scripture to figure out what He wants from me and for me. I felt like I was always running to God to get something, anything, for another sermon. I was always studying… but never just to spend time with God. It was always about another weekly performance test and passing that test. Preaching had become more about doing than being.

So my big ‘ol plan was to fall in love with scripture all over again as I did manuscript studies and read all the cool books by all the cool authors who knew all the cool things that I had no clue about. I planned to have all the time in the world to just sit and be.

Apparently, cool is not the only thing I am clueless about.

What I am doing is filling my time stuffing my face while I sit on my ever- expanding Brazil. I’ve gained 15 of the 55 pounds it took me three years to lose.  How I could let myself slip back into these patterns is just insane and just plain pisses me off.

Not only do I know what to do, but I know that my entire family is one ginormous diabetic heart attack. Bio-Dad had congestive heart failure and diabetes. Mom died with congestive heart failure, diabetes and renal failure. Grandma had strokes. My uncle and paternal grandparents all had diabetes and heart problems. My sister has congestive heart failure, diabetes and renal failure.

The common denominator here is that Marie and I are the only ones still living.

I complained that it was too cold to walk outside (we do live in the frozen tundra) and that it was too expensive to keep up my membership at the gym. So God plants us in a gorgeous new apartment in a gorgeous complex with a FREE mini-gym. Outside my door. Fifty yards away. Guess how many times I’ve been in there in three months?

Because whiners drive me crazy, I just need to get up and get going.

Right after I hit the snooze again.

Advertisements
 

9 Responses to “Why Do Today What You Can Put Off ‘Til Tomorrow?”

  1. Lance Ponder Says:

    First of all, you’ve only got one really cool book on your shelf, besides your bible. ((wink)). Second, I hit the snooze today and slept an extra two hours. I’m not going to throw stones.

  2. I use that really cool book always when reading that other cool book in the bible!

  3. Don Chandler Says:

    Tina: Linda has read to me your comments regarding procrastination. I think it is good that you are reflecting on many things going back along time to include, of course, the present. I believe there is good in that. But I think that you may be overlooking some things that I have observed time after time over a number of years. I believe your ministry was very effective. Very much to the point and by the grace of God or the credit you are not giving yourself, your sermons were wonderful. Your Sunday morning services were absolutely seemless. Perhaps in your subconscious, prior to actually sitting down and putting the sermon on paper, you had already been working the entire week on it, consciously or unconsciously. Perhaps God was preparing you for the final preparation. In one way or another your ministry continues. We have been richly blessed by you in more ways than can be easily enumerated. We love you, we believe in you, we stand behind you to the same degree we ever have and remember I seriously doubt that God intended for you to be perfect at all times in your own judgement. Take heart and let’s see that beautiful smile.
    Don

    • Don AND Linda,

      How sweet you are to love me warts and all (and I think you’ve witnessed most of them!) Thank you for always believing and always supporting (even when that meant you didn’t like what I was doing!). I love you both!

  4. I can identify with so much of what you’re saying. Putting off doing the stuff that we know is good for us – is it because we don’t love ourselves enough? or maybe don’t like ourselves enough?

    You say whiners drive you crazy – I wonder if that’s the key, if what you see as whining is the side of you that you won’t accept, won’t allow God to love? I just get the feeling you’re being very hard on yourself. After all you’ve been through in the past few years, don’t you think you’re allowed a bit of a whine?

    Tina, I know you already know this but maybe you need to discover it on another level – God loves you AS YOU ARE, he is crazy about you. He’s not waiting around with some big stick to hit you over the head for not spending enough time with him. He’s waiting around for you to come to him and be real about how you’re feeling and let him hold you and tell you how precious your tears are to him, how precious every teensy bit of you is to him.

    • You are so sweet. I know about the big stick thing… but I have a big stick that I hit myself over the head with all the time.

      My theme seems to be “Why can’t I just be perfect already?” Of course the rational Tina knows this is silly… but rational Tina sometimes gets bamboozled by irrational Tina.

      • right, so it’s the irrational Tina who needs a bit of a talking to… hey, Irrational Tina (can I call you IT for short?), could you give Tina a break already? she’s had an unbelievably hard few years, and you know all that, so why are you being so… er… irrational?

      • oh, and as for the rational Tina, can I whisper a word of advice in your ear? quietly, so that Irrational Tina doesn’t hear? *whisper* next time she comes at you and starts telling you off, just stand up to her, tell her to go take a hike. you’d be surprised at how quickly she runs, she’s not anywhere near as scary as she pretends to be.

      • This made me laugh out loud. You are wonderful! Thank you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s