Rediscovering Tina

There is life outside the pulpit

Why Am I Here? January 13, 2011

Filed under: Personal Discoveries,Post a Day — Rediscovering Tina @ 8:00 pm
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The daily topic for the Post a Day 2011 challenge is to answer the question, “Why do you blog?” Actually, the topic would be a continuation of yesterday’s topic about using my voice.

I started blogging years ago as a way of keeping my family in Indiana up to date on the goings on with Steve and me in Oklahoma. It was a way to share my sermons with my Mom, who was my biggest encourager and a staunch believer in my calling as a preacher.

In the process I discovered that blogging gave me an opportunity to organize my thoughts and ideas before “speaking” and sounding like a goof. It helped me work out problems and analyze options. Blogging helped me try out sermon ideas and gather sermon illustrations from others’ experiences.

Blogging introduced me to some wonderful people who I consider friends. We have followed one another from blog site to blog site over the years and I have found them to be tremendous prayer warriors and fabulous encouragers in my life. Thank you Cheryl, Lance, Snow, Steve-O, Patty, and Shell.

Two years ago my Mom died suddenly. And I lost my voice. I no longer had a desire to write, to preach, to blog, to do anything. The mere act of clicking on my blog sent me into a torrent of tears for all the words that my Mom would never read. Writing and thinking and typing took more energy than I could fathom. So I stopped.

In the past six months I’ve felt my voice returning. I feel words welling up inside of me longing to come out. It has taken me six months to type the first words. I feel like someone who hasn’t played the piano in years… the ability is there but the fingers are a bit rusty.

I’m ready, though. May the words flow and my voice be heard.

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7 Responses to “Why Am I Here?”

  1. Steve Nelson Says:

    Welcome back, Voice!

  2. Lance Ponder Says:

    Welcome back. I knew about your mom, but I didn’t realize that was so tightly connected to how you evaporated from the scene. You are loved and you have been missed. You have been a great source of encouragement and courage, though perhaps you felt little of it yourself.

    As for me, I’m an addict. I have so much to say… **sigh** and no one else to tell …

    • It was hard to talk about, and has been hard to talk about. Losing my Mom was like losing both big toes. Suddenly I was falling and couldn’t get my balance and had no idea how to get it back. It felt like I was standing on the Empire State Building without a harness (and I HATE heights) and tumbling without a net. Maybe some day I’ll even be able to share that experience without dissolving into a puddle of tears. There are days I wonder if I will ever recover.

      Trust me, I have felt that encouragement from you and others. I just haven’t been so good at expressing that.

  3. Cheryl Deal Says:

    Oh Tina…you are welcome…but it is YOU that has been there for ME. Even though we’ve never met in person…I feel like you are definitely a part of my life forever.

    I hope that you continue to find your voice! I, for one, look forward to hearing it. :o)

  4. Halleluiah! So glad you’re getting your voice back.


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